The ache of singleness can be a great pain for some of us on
Valentine’s Day, especially if we have been single for too long or experienced
a recent breakup. So I wrote this article hoping to ease your pain a little
bit. Know that as you are reading these lines I am already praying for you!
Singleness is your
choice.
We girls often blame God for being single
thinking that the reason we don’t have a boyfriend now is because God isn’t
listening to our prayers. But the truth is, singleness is a choice. Anyone
can find a boyfriend nowadays. If you are single is because you don’t want just
a boyfriend. You want someone special, someone that will do anything to make
you happy, someone that you will want to make happy too… for as long as you
both shall live. You want someone worth waiting for. That is why you’re single!
It is your choice, not God’s.
You’re beautiful. Stop
doubting your beauty and qualities.
You are not single because you’re not
pretty enough or skinny enough or gracious enough. You are single because you
haven’t met the right person… yet. Because God is working on both of you,
preparing you for each other.
“She
is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her”|
Proverbs 3:15
You are beautiful, you are made in His
image and you are more than enough. And one day you will meet a person who will
be sure that there isn’t any other person in this world as beautiful as you!
You are beautiful! I am sorry if I am repeating myself but I don’t want you to
read it, I want you to believe in it. There isn’t a person in this world with a
set of qualities as yours, you are unique!
You are not too picky
and your standards are not too high!
My mom is always telling me that horrible
Portuguese saying of how you will end up with the wrong person if you are too
picky (“Quem muito escolhe pouco acerta!”) But I think that it is much more
likely that you will end up with the wrong person if you don’t have any
standards.
I know, society is always telling you how you
will never find a boyfriend if you don’t lower your standards, you probably
heard already a thousand times (at least) that there isn’t a man willing to
wait for marriage to have sex with you. But that’s the point! You don’t want a
man who is ‘willing’ to wait but a man who will want to wait as well because he
wants to love you properly and to lead you closer to God than to himself.
In my opinion, a man that doesn’t like a woman with standards is a man with no standards. Standards only scare away man who don’t have any.
Keep calm and leave it in God’s hands.
We always make that terrible mistake of
thinking we know what is best for us and who is best for us. But you can’t know
for sure what is best for you, can you? Thankfully, He can and He loves you so
much that He wants to give you the best!
I’m talking about those moments in life
when you meet a person and you think “there CAN’T be a better person for me!” but
then things don’t work out… and you think “maybe I don’t deserve a person like
that…” or “I will surely end up with someone worse or alone in a house full of
cats”.
Next time that happens please remember that
God doesn’t show you gold and gives you
silver.
“She
holds onto hope for He is forever faithful”| 1 Corinthians 1:9
Don’t settle. He doesn’t want to give you
someone good. He doesn’t want to give you silver. If he shows you gold is
because he wants to give you gold, he wants to give you the best person for
you! And he is SO faithful! But you need to stop settling for less than you
deserve, you need to show you trust Him and wait for that gold He promised you.
If you leave it in God’s hands you will surely see God’s hands on it!
“Blessed
is she who believed that the Lord would fulfil His promises to her”| Luke 1:45
Stop waiting for the right person and become the right
person
I always tell my friends that the reason
they haven’t met the right person yet is because one of them isn’t ready yet,
and for some reason they all think that what I mean is that the ‘other’ person
isn’t ready yet, that they already have everything that it takes to be a good
spouse, but the ‘other’ person still needs to grow and become a better person.
And that’s not what I mean. You, as me, need to work on yourself and become the
best version of yourself. You will never reach a level where you don’t need to
work on yourself anymore. You will never be perfect. There’s always a fault you
need to correct and a virtue you need to grow on. Marriage is not a fairy tale,
marriage is hard work. Marriage is tough, really tough. So the more virtues you
bring into your family the easier will be to overcome difficulties.
“Instead
of searching for the ideal man, become the ideal woman and let him come find
you”. – Crystalina Evert
Pray for it.
When I realised that God had
called me for the sacrament of marriage I also realised that for sure he had
created someone that was ideal for me. Someone that would challenge me every
day to become a better person and would lead me and our children to heaven. That someone may be in need of
prayers right now, which is why I pray every day for him. I pray for his faith,
for his family, for his struggles, for his intentions. I ask God to give him
the graces he needs to be happy. Every day I ask God for specific things and know He is taking care of him, I know he is in good hands. You may need to wait until you meet your future husband, but you can start praying for both of you now, you
can start loving him today.
"Take delight in the Lord and He will give
you the desires of your heart." | Psalm 37:4
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